WHAT FATHERS HAVE TO RELEARN

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Filipinos are a touching people.  In our naiveté as a people and in our blind and sometimes foolish aping of western civilization, we deprive ourselves of an important cultural heritage – that is, the culture of touch.

In families, touch is also very important. The way we raise our children, hindi natin sila inilalagay sa basket, crib, stroller, at isini-seat belt sa upuan.  Kinakalong natin sila.  Itinatali sa dibdib o sa likod.  Pinapasan sa balikat o kaya’y kinakarga. Even child psychologists will tell us that touch is very important especially to children.

Minsan, ang nagiging obstacles sa ganitong kultura ay ang macho image ng Filipino fathers.  Ayaw na kadikit o kaakbay ang mga anak na lalaki. Ang mga anak tuloy ay medyo malayo sa tatay at palaging nakabuntot at nakasiksik sa mga nanay. Touching is one of the things that many fathers have to relearn. Our culture is not afraid to touch. Many of our fathers are enslaved by the concept na dapat hindi sila emotional.  This is probably the reason why we create so many men with very weak character because they are dominated by strong-willed mothers.

The fathers should be more present and more “touching” so that they could impart and let their character, manhood and firmness permeate into the character especially of their sons. Many fathers have arms that ache to embrace their sons but would rather not for fear of too much expressiveness.